(this dilemma has really been created by what i've written in several of the latest posts. you can read sort of a summary of our financial plan HERE and then my last post on what i think money is for HERE. you should really read that to catch up.) Thanks in advance for taking time to read this dilemma below...
so here's my dilemma.
(first, a preface) - I DON'T NEED ANY MONEY. seriously. there is not an ounce of desire in me to be "rich" and have a lot of money to spend on myself. comforts, pleasures, etc...
i am completely content to sleep on the ground somewhere eating rice with nothing. just me, my wife, and God. no transportation, no furniture... whatever. i'm content.
on the flip side - I AM ON TRACK TO HAVE A TON OF MONEY. and really i'm already rich just because i'm an American. then even by American standards i'm probably rich just from following Dave's plan. (You can read about our journey through that plan HERE and HERE.) this is hard to believe because our income isn't as high as most, but Dave says we're in the top 3% of Americans as far as our net worth right now. crazy. (again, no credit to me, i'm just thankful God led us into this plan.)
but the reason we're on track to have so much money is because we are putting most of it somewhere! getting out of debt, then building the emergency fund, & now we're putting a ton into retirement & eventually we'll be investing a lot more!
So, as I wrote in the last post, just in retirement we're on track to have $13 million at 65, and then with investments who knows how much more it will be?
Bottom Line = i want to give most of my money away (like i wrote HERE). now and/or later.
***i have learned (from Dave & now experience) that money is most powerful when it is focused. that pushes me into the dilemma:
- i feel like i could give away most of my money now and focus it all toward the Kingdom - the poor, missions, etc... and do a lot of good! it would be powerful!
- Or i feel like i could focus a majority of my money toward retirement accounts, and investments and maybe end up with $30 million + investments...
Some days i want to ABANDON THE PLAN! (don't tell Dave.) not abandon it so i can buy stuff, but so i can give away all my money. maybe 70% or 80%? + everything in the emergency fund, etc...
but then other days i think it almost might be better to stop giving now, put 70% - 80% into these long term investments and then be able to give $100 million at 65!
*i have a real ongoing dilemma between these scenarios:
1 - i did some really rough estimating and let's say i could give $1.6 million over the next 40 years of my life. that would be very "sacrificial" giving. i would be happy. i would have no retirement... but i'd be ok with that & content. i think it would do a lot of good.
2 - OR if i gave very little now... like 10% or something... i could maybe have $30 million in 40 years to give away. that's a lot more for sure. that seems like it would be way better for the Kingdom, but that's not as much where my heart's at.
Sometimes it feels like i need to pick one of those 2 lanes and run with it.
3 - OR... i could keep up what i'm doing now. which is focused on giving AND the plan (which makes money less powerful because of less focus). maybe i could give away as much as i can along the way but we'd still have $13 million + investments in 40 years. then i could give all of that away.
pretty awesome chunk to give away. way more than the $1.6 million i could give away in #1, but a lot less than in #2.
*AM I BEING TO RIDICULOUS AND RADICAL ABOUT THIS? maybe i should just live comfortably, have some fun, give some, save some like in #3 and be done with this whole dilemma?
So, i am saying openly that i don't know what to think about all this. my head and heart spin round and round.
the business side of me knows $30 million would be the "best" and i could do a lot of awesome stuff for God's Kingdom with that.
the raw and passionate side of me knows what giving thousands right now could do! the lives it could help save TODAY (physically and spiritually). i have a big problem with this many days. knowing i have the money that could SAVE LIVES, but i'm putting it into a ROTH IRA... ooohhh... that feels revolutionary.
Ultimately i know all the money is going to the same place. it's just a matter of when and how much.
And then my head and heart spin round and round more and more because i know that God doesn't NEED my money. He's gonna do what He wants to do know matter what. What He really wants is my heart. well, He has that... and that makes me want to give away all my money now!
& then the business side of me says...
and round and round i go much like this post has been. i probably haven't made much sense and i've given myself a headache like i do every day as i wrestle with this.
i'll be honest with all of you. i can't think of anything else i wrestle with more than this. this keeps me awake at night and bothers me deep in my soul. i really don't know what God would want me to do. i ask Him for wisdom & i'm just not sure.
**i think there are some principles in Scripture and a lot of wisdom in godly people out there that could help me. i've been searching for the principles in Scripture (big time). [although that's when i want to empty my emergency fund and give away every penny when i read what God has to say...]
i know i probably just sound crazy to all of you and you think i'm a few bricks short...
but i would really really love to hear from YOU! what am i missing? is my thinking all jacked up? what Biblical principle could you share with me to help? did this post even make sense? what would you do in my situation.
help. before my brain and heart explode from this ongoing wrestling match!