i accidentally came across that quote just now where i had written it years ago.
"Our direction is more important than our pace."
Chris Brown, my pastor, said that almost 3 years ago in a staff meeting and i remember it affecting me so i stopped and wrote it down (on my computer. if i don't write stuff on my computer, or now my iPhone, i may as well not even write it down). [Chris says a lot of smart stuff like that, btw.)
i remember that statement was very freeing for me at that time. i'm sure i was running at a very unsustainable pace, and that breathed life into me. Chris said it about us as an organization - Ridge Church - but i think it can apply to all of us in so many ways.
i think at that time it encouraged me to just slow down a little bit, but make sure i kept focusing on moving in the right direction.
Now, i'm wondering if i really even believe that statement any more.
sure, i believe it's true like all of us believe ("mentally assent") to a lot of things. but if i REALLY believed it, i would live it.
See, i stumbled on this quote after i spent several hours knocking stuff out for my job at Ridge Church & then ran out the door to be able to mow the grass at the perfect time (when the temperature is just right) WHILE learning Swahili on my iPhone.
Then i came inside and was rushing to get some more work done when i saw that quote. (& even as i'm taking a minute to write this blog i'm listening to a podcast, texting 2 people, talking to my wife on the phone and sending emails! ridiculous.)
my problem is that i don't know if i truly believe that anymore. again, i believe it in a "it's better for me if i don't eat this greasy bacon cheeseburger" kind of way... but i don't live it which means i don't really believe it. (like i wrote about HERE.)
i think the problem is i'm just not satisfied with moving slow anymore. the most important thing is still moving in the right direction, but my patience might be up. i need to be "there" by now. it feels like i'm no longer satisfied to just be taking steps in the right direction. i need the steps to be bigger and faster.
that's just what i'm thinking on tonight.