what's your outlet?

(This was originally posted on May 17, 2010.)

what is your outlet?
you know, what you do to blow off steam and forget all your cares? 

that thing you do that you just lose yourself in. 

that thing that when you're doing it you can forget everything else - all your frustrations and cares and just get away from it all. almost to another world.

i heard some pastors talking about this over the weekend. their outlet was running marathons and that kind of crap and i was just like "you're crazy." but it was a good reminder to me that we all need our own outlets. something that works for each of us.

usually when i'm so frustrated or bummed or life is so crazy that i just need to "get away"... i can get away with just me and God. maybe just to a quiet room, to my porch swing, to some beautiful spot... and i can just pour my heart out to Him! it's beautiful. it's amazing. i can "cast all my cares on Him."

that's also what a good date night is for sometimes. i have an amazing wife. she lets me dump all my frustrations on her and she listens and comforts me and attempts to cheer me back up.

but neither one of those are really an "outlet". they are people. (which are probably better long term solutions.)
Sometimes nothing is really "wrong", we just need to blow off some steam. just get away from it all - to an outlet.

For me it's definitely soccer. as a kid and even a high schooler (and beyond) soccer was my "god". Not so much after i lost both my knees (cartilage). but i definitely still love the game. can't play it very well anymore but i love to play it so much. i can still lose myself in a soccer game. it's a beautiful thing. i get wrapped up in every facet of the game and lose myself in it.

So, i'm thankful to recognize it as a healthy outlet for me. i'm heading to my soccer game tonight in about 10 minutes. great timing too because i really need to blow off some steam and take out some frustrations. (i'm thankful i can do this instead of beating my dog... jk)

whoever woulda thought soccer can be so spiritual? but so can fishing or hunting or video games or reading or even running... or whatever your outlet is.

**So, what is YOUR outlet?

an observation

Crystal and i were in a child birthing class the past 2 weeks. about 30 people in my class and here was my observation that will blow your mind:

There were NO non-pregnant people in the child birth class.

Out of 30 people in this class, every single one of them were pregnant. (of course there were husbands there... but only husbands of pregnant ladies.)

i warned you that this observation would blow your mind, right?

OF COURSE there were no non-pregnant people in the class. that would be kind of weird. why would they take a child birthing class? That's not a class you take just to go ahead and be prepared BEFORE you get pregnant.

2 years ago... or even 1 year ago... or even 7 months ago if someone tried to get me to go to a child birthing class i would have looked at them like they were crazy!

but now... when we're pregnant - SIGN ME UP because i want to know this stuff.

it's all about timing. people don't take a child birthing class before they're pregnant because they don't need to know this stuff until they're about to have a baby.

this is the same observation my pastor has pointed out to me many times. it goes something like this. "People only learn on a need to know basis." they only pay attention and really want to know when the timing necessitates it.

like being pregnant necessitates some new knowledge... but i would have never paid attention to that before.

it's that way in all of life. people don't really feel like they need to know until they NEED to know.

so what could we do about that? how could we capture their attention before they feel like they need to know? 

when it comes to making some of the message of Jesus appear relevant (because it already is relevant) at certain times to people = is it kind of like trying to sell a birthing class to non-pregnant people?

and how can we sync the right people at the right time with what they need to know when they feel like they need to know it?

or maybe we just keep giving them the message and they'll come back to us when they feel like they NEED it. we can't predict the timing so we just set up systems to constantly give the message... so they know where to go looking when they feel like they need it.

i knew where to sign up for a birthing class.

something that's always true of you

you are loved.

no matter who you are. no matter where you live or what language you speak.

no matter what you've done or haven't done.

you are loved by God no matter what.

just because you're His kid.

just because.

when it was all gravy

"it's all gravy".

you know what i mean by that, right? when it's all "extra". when you got what you expected (potatoes) but then there's something extra on top of that expectation (the gravy).

it happens in life a LOT and i love it. i love the gravy.
for me the phrase is very similar to "Playing with house money."

just have fun & enjoy it because it's all extra anyway. it's above expectations. like when an underdog comes through. you didn't even expect them to be in the game, but they actually did well? wow. that was all gravy. OR the freshman kid who starts on Varsity = everything he does is all gravy.

when there are no expectations with people there are great opportunities for gravy. no expectations for that person to perform, but then they actually do... well, that was all gravy.

*I wish I could go back to 16 or 18 or 21 or even 24 and know what I know now… 

i wish i could go back to stages of my life when it was ALL GRAVY. because those were the days and i don't think i even realized it.

nobody really expected much from me because i was young. so if i did anything halfway decent it was like, "whoa". (spelled "a-l-l  g-r-a-v-y")

i've thought about it a few times. if i could just go back with what i know now... with the awareness of what i've figured out... with the little experience i've gained... that would be awesome. i could really pile on the gravy.

i've been reading a book this year (and a lot over the weekend) called The Pocket Guide to Adulthood: 29 Things to Know Before You Hit 30

reading it has prompted me to think about this a little more. because, in your 20s, in a lot of ways, there's still a lot of gravy to be had. but (from my perspective) not so much once you hit 30.

& this realization hit me - "dude, you're 28. 30 is hunting you down. forget the gravy. where's the actual potatoes? it's not all extra anymore. you just gotta bring it from now on. what have you been waiting on?"

i know it was this kind of thinking that contributed to my 4 month "mid life crisis" at the end of last year. so, i'm not dwelling on it. i'm not bummed by it. i'm just motivating myself with it. because i want to look back at 38 and see something drastically different than looking back at 28.

but still. "if only" i could go back in time... know what i know now... do it over... could be some serious gravy

but I can’t know what I know now without living these years/experiences. 

I guess that’s the whole point.

an old talk that still affects me

(This is a repost from October 13, 2009.)

One of my favorite leaders and communicators is Rob Bell. I think he's the man. Me and Crystal even went to Mars Hill up in Grand Rapids ("the epicentre of progressive culture" as Rob would say) a few years ago to check out what God was doing there.

You've no doubt seen or at least heard of Rob's Noomas. I think they're brilliant and think more and more people should be exposed to them. He's releasing some revolutionary new "noomaesque" stuff that will be totally free soon. More on that in another post.
I've got all his books and love them. You may have read one - Velvet Elvis, Sex God, Jesus Wants to Save Christians, or the most recent Drops Like Stars... which is also the tour Rob is currently on (came through Charlotte just 4 days ago!). (You can buy his books HERE.)
He had a talk prepared that I had actually listened to a couple weeks ago = "The Importance of Beginning in the Beginning." But he scrapped it at the last second feeling a leading to talk about something else. Something from his soul he had never talked about before in public.

Anyway, nuff said for the intro.
He started off his talk with the Q = Is bigger better? Of course we would mentally say “no,” but there’s something deeper that makes us feel differently. (We talked through some of John 6:22-66.)

"That’s not why we do things – because they’re popular. We do them because God’s doing them." Right on!

And I absolutely LOVED this = God won’t say to me “Why weren’t you more like him.” No, He’ll prolly say = “Why weren’t you more like YOU?” We all need to hear that and believe it!
He told us about a take on the 10 commandments that I guess is actually pretty old. It's what the Rabbis used to say... The 1st 9 of the 10 are externally measurable. But the last is different. *The Rabbis say the 1st 9 are commands, but the 10th is a REWARD. If I obey God (the 1st 9) then I won’t want anybody else’s life! (I won't covet.) It’s a reward. My life is just fine. I was fascinated by this thought. I'm not saying I buy into something like that the 1st time I hear it, but that's a pretty good take on it. I think it makes perfect sense.

This was a great and deeply internal searching for me = "Is there ever a deep, residing anxiety in me that I haven’t accomplished enough?" My answer would have to be Absolutely. God wants to set me free from that. Don’t let what I’m building and doing become a burdern/stress on me.
A subset of that question was "Is there any way I’ve been stressed about size?" 

I was struck by this comment Rob made = "There’s a difference in me walking a hard road and carrying a stress-inducing burden. Jesus may give us a hard road, but not a stressful burden…" I thought that was REALLY interesting considering how many pastors and leaders are probably stressed out right now! I think there's a thin line between the 2, but an important one not to cross. What I'm following God to do right now is hard, no doubt, but it shouldn't be constantly stressful for me.
That was the theme throughout the talk.

*Jesus wants to set me free to enjoy the work I’m in right now. And that is very freeing. He kept nailing it with these awesome questions he kept asking me...
"Is there anywhere or any way that I’ve neglected to take care of myself because I think I’m supposed to be going all the time?" [I’m think I’m getting better and better and figuring this out.]
Does my spouse get my very best? Or does she get what’s left over after I’ve given it all to the church. My spouse will be there the whole journey. Better keep my priorities straight.

*"Jesus wants to make sure that peeps like me who are proclaiming a gospel of peace and life are actually experiencing the peace and life of Jesus." profound.
I think it was awesome for many to hear him say "Let them have their more and you just do what God's put in front of you. Be free from the big… that’s good news."

It was an awesome talk! Definitely in my top 2 or 3 of the conference. (And awesome enough for Matt Chandler to say a couple times how good it was. Wonder what his big bro Driscoll would think of that?)
It was all great stuff for me to hear (and I'm guessing for thousands of others too). Thanks for sharing, Rob, and letting this be the first place you talked about it in public. We needed it!

What do YOU think of Rob's stuff?

for pastors tomorrow

i was struck by a comment my friend Jared left on one of my posts earlier this week. the post was about humility & part of Jared's comment said...

If many pastors were honest the prayer at the end of the sermon would sound more like this:
"Dear God,
That rocked just now.  That must have been one of the best sermons I've taught in a while.  I mean, even I was a little surprised by how well that went. Thanks for making me so awesome and for everyone getting to hear that.
In my name I pray,
The Pastor" 

whoa. i think that's a great comment to read on a Saturday night. may it be very different tomorrow morning all over the world.

we must be desperately humble. we are nothing without God's power. 

i get to speak a couple times tomorrow in a couple different environments. it will suck big time without God.

so, i just hope i can get out the way and let Him do whatever He wants to do.

no coke for half a life

When i was 14 years old i drank Coke every day. i drank Coke and Pepsi and Sunkist and Sprite and on and on and on...
all day long every day.

at every meal and in between every meal i drank sodas. loved them. never dreamed i would ever stop.

When i was 14 my whole soccer team decided to not drink any soda for 30 days. just during some big tournaments that were coming up.

i did actually feel amazing for 30 days. i felt free... like weights were lifted off.

but i couldn't wait to have a Coke when the 30 days were up. i could almost taste it.

on the 31st day i poured myself a BIG glass of Coke. Watched the fizz bubble up & then go back down. filled it up again to almost overflowing...

and then...

i took a big...

long...

cold...

sweet...

gulp.

and it was...

NASTY.

it tasted horrible. i hated it. i think i forced myself to drink it and i felt awful the rest of the day. i felt like something was burning my insides. i burped all day long. that was not cool.

i tried for a few more days to like Coke again. or any soda. but i just didn't like it.

i had formed a habit - not drinking soda. i didn't like it anymore. and i felt amazing. i felt like i could run like the wind.

so i just went with it.

and now it's 14 years later. i'm 28. and i haven't had a soda for 14 years.

half my life.

for half my life - 14 years -  i drank sodas every single day. then i took 30 days to form a new habit. and now i haven't had another soda for these past 14 years.

habits are formed in 30 days or less. that's pretty crazy. and they could be STRONG habits that affect the rest of your life.

so what kind of habit could/should you form over the next 30 days?

you can change the world without cartilage

this is a BRAND new perspective for me & it's changing everything. i hope it will for you too.

All of us have circumstances that suck. things that happen that aren't fun and we WISH they didn't exist. There is a broad spectrum of these things = from things out of our control to the bad decisions we have made that create crappy circumstances in our lives. ALL of them we wish we were rid of.
We all have people in our lives we wish we didn't have to deal with. we cringe when we see them coming. There is a broad spectrum of these people too = from people who have wronged us in the past to people who are straight up jerks to us to people who just simply annoy us.

think about those specific people and circumstances for YOU right now. what are they and who are they? walk away from this blog to the other side of the room for 1 minute to make sure you have this in mind then come back...

______________________________

(are you a little bit riled up or stressed out now? sorry about that.)

i'm thankful for a lot of stuff and a lot of people. i think of myself as a pretty thankful person. but it seems ludicrous, backwards, and opposite to be thankful for the crappy things and the people who are crappy to me.

but this is the brand new perspective for me. Because humility is THE most IMPORTANT thing... because it's a pretty big deal, & because it's a must for changing the world... then i want it no matter what.

& as i look back on my life - the humility i have learned has mainly come from crappy circumstances and people who were crappy to me. hasn't it been the same for you? isn't that how you learn humility?

so here's my new perspective from the old school writing (all from different chapters) of Andrew Murray:

"But let us not be discouraged [when these crappy things come]. Let us look upon every person who tries or vexes us, as God's means of GRACE, God's instrument for our purification, for our exercise of the humility Jesus our Life breathes within us."

"Accept with GRATITUDE everything that God allows from within or without, from friend or enemy, in nature or in grace, to remind you of your need of humbling, and to help you to it."

"Accept every humiliation, look upon every fellow-man who tries or vexes you, as a means of grace to humble you. Use every opportunity of humbling yourself before your fellow-men as a help to abide humble before God."

that's hard to do. it feels very opposite of what i want to do. but, if humility is what i want most then i should be REALLY thankful for the "awesome" ways it is produced in me.
so thank you to all the circumstances and people that teach me humility. I see them as GIFTS... as "means of grace". i am genuinely excited about the man they are helping me become.

i'm confident that the reason there is no cartilage in my knees today is so that i could learn some humility. i can look back and see that losing the meniscus in my right and left knee was a crappy circumstance that would shred some pride out of my life... make me a little more humble.
it's very hard to be prideful about an ability that you no longer have. if you were prideful because you were an amazing singer and you suddenly had no more voice... it would be pretty hard to be prideful about the voice you don't have.
as many times as i've been bummed about having bum knees and all the limitations and pains... i look at that crappy circumstance with Gratitude. i want humility more than "menisci".

we should be thankful because without this humility we can't change the world. You can change the world without cartilage, but not without humility.

“Until a humility which will rest in nothing less than the end and death of self; which gives up all the honor of men as Jesus did, to seek the honor that comes from God alone; which absolutely makes and counts itself nothing, that God may be all, that the Lord alone may be exalted, -- until such a humility be what we seek in Christ, above our chief joy, and welcome at any price, there is very little hope of a religion that will conquer the world.” 

(Andrew Murray, over 100 years ago)

*Mr. Murray, i wish you were here these days... we need a revolution of your words, ideas, and passion.

what are your thoughts and comments about this whole humility thing?

that's dangerous (but i don't care)

i think the world can change. i think it should & it's supposed to. i think it's gonna. no doubt about that.
i would rather see it happen sooner than later.

i want my life to be about changing the world. i want to spend every day bringing the world-changing revolution. when i'm dead i want to look back on a life spent trying to change the world.

but i fully realize that is going to involve some dangerous stuff. dangerous on many levels.

a lot of things may be dangerous that we don't normally think of as dangerous OR they're not things i would have thought necessary in order to change the world.

like humility, for example. i've been writing about it a lot lately and i probably will be for a while.

humility isn't something that usually makes the top of the list when you are compiling necessities for changing the world.

but it is necessary.

without it there will be no world-changing revolution. not through us anyway. i'm convinced that humility is every bit as necessary (and even more necessary) than audacity to change the world. both have to be there. (i've already written on the uber importance of humility HERE, HERE and HERE.)

so, if that's the case then i want humility more than anything. because i want to see God's love and renown change the world more than anything.

so, i PRAY that whatever the cost God would help me be full of humility. MAKE ME HUMBLE. Shred pride from my life... every hint of it... until there is only humility left. DO whatever it takes to make that happen! because, 

unless it does = i will never be fully satisfied/overjoyed and i'll never be used like i could be to change the world.

but this is a freaking dangerous prayer and desire.

i fully realize that. and yeah, it's kind of the joke in some Christian churches - "don't pray for humility, or God might give it to you..." as in - God may have to BREAK you to humble you. so we think to ourselves - "don't pray for humility because the humbling process is... well, HUMBLING." (spelled P-A-I-N-F-U-L)

so, this is legit. if i want to be fully, 100% humble i know it's going to hurt.

but i don't care. and i don't mean that in a cavalier way at all. i'm a little scared. 

but i don't care as in i care MORE about being a humble man that it is worth the hurt and pain and humbling process that it will take to get there.

so, what if we all pray the "danger prayer"? what if we all went through whatever it took to be humble? what if we were just a whole bunch of broken, humble, audacious people?

i guess we might just change the world.

happy birthday Ridge!

it's hard to believe... another birthday for Ridge!

i can still remember the very 1st Sunday morning we ever met 3 years ago. it was exciting.
there was a buzz.

This morning was our 3rd birthday of meeting on Sunday mornings. 3 years... it's wild to think that it's been that long!

it's our 4th birthday overall as a church. and i can vividly remember that 1st ever Sunday night we met. there was a crazy buzz that night.
we started loading in at like 10am and got home around midnight. i'm nostalgic, but i don't miss those 14 hour days at all.

and it's crazy to think that very soon we'll be moving to our own permanent facility. it will be our very own. no load in or load out. we do what we want with it.
what a thought.
it hasn't really even sunk in yet.

the big deal... the main point of all this -- is that the last 3 & 4 years have been absolutely amazing. God has done some incredible stuff. He has changed so many lives in big ways. we've been able to bless our city and the world.

it's been an awesome 3 & 4 years, but i know the next 3-4 will be incredible and put the past to shame.
no doubt the best is yet to come.

stay low. go hard. we on a mission.

...on writing

I love to write.

But, let me be clear, I like to write when I like to write.

The trouble is, that if you want to be a writer, you have to write when you don’t feel like writing or else you don’t get to write when you do feel like writing.

(because if you're inconsistent, you don’t have a platform left to stand on for peeps to read when you want to write. *not that i necessarily want to be a writer by any stretch of the imagination.)

so, here's to this practice & discipline of writing when i love to write & writing even when i don't feel like it.

it's a pretty big deal

it's a big deal because...

“Without this there can be no true abiding in God’s presence, or experience of His favor and the power of His Spirit; without this no abiding faith, or love or joy or strength.” 

humility is what i'm talking about, by the way. still on this humility journey and will be for quite a while.

so, Andrew Murray says that without humility there is no - experiencing God's presence or favor or power of His Spirit or faith or love or joy or strength.

well, that's a pretty sucky life without all those things. (i'll write more about this later but that's why i'm saying crazy things to God like - "do whatever it takes to make me humble." i can't see any other way to happiness.)

AND humility is a pretty big deal because: 

“the lack of humility is the sufficient explanation of every defect and failure.” 

wow. that's a pretty big statement, Mr Murray. and if you're right, then how do we get/have humility? what do we do? what even is it?

“it is simply the sense of entire nothingness, which comes when we see how truly God is all, and in which we make way for God to be all.”

those are the greatest words on humility i've ever heard. it's this yin & yang. us and God. we need to simply see ourselves like we really, truly are = NOTHING. and see God... even a glimpse... of Who He really, truly is - ALL.

boom. done deal. we'll never be the same. no room for pride then. pride is ludicrous. humility is the only thing for sane people at that point.

“humility is simply acknowledging the truth of my position as creature, and yielding to God His place.”

And just to remind us how big of a deal humility actually is (like we talked about in the previous post - "the most important thing")...

“Humility is not so much a grace or virtue along with others; it is the root of all, because it alone takes the right attitude before God, and allows Him as God to do all.”

anybody starting to see how crazy important this is?

i'm desperate to be humble and kick pride out. i wanna do whatever it takes.

but somehow - we, our culture, the Church, etc... talk and think about it so very very little.

maybe we just need to be reminded that it's a pretty big deal.

THOUGHTS?

humility - the most important thing

(i set up these Humility thoughts HERE but just now getting a chance to actually blog about it.)
just trying to think through (by writing) the ideas about humility that are rocking my world right now.

Andrew Murray sets it all up by saying that "nothing is more natural and beautiful and blessed than to be NOTHING, that God may be ALL."
and that's a great summary of this whole idea of humility. nothing and all. that's the essence. me becoming nothing. literally humbling myself, emptying myself, to the point that i am 100% dependent on God... which lets Him be the ALL that He already is.
if there is still something of me in me... God cannot possibly be ALL in me. that's a tough thing to humble myself to the point that i empty me of me. rid myself of every trace of pride. (is it even possible? but i think that's the only way for God to be ALL and truly do His thing.)
the main idea Murray threw at me is that HUMILITY is the MOST IMPORTANT thing. and at 1st i think "no way." no way that's the most important thing in my life.
but i think i'm buying into that idea.

this is all i've been thinking about the last couple weeks. and you don't normally think of something like humility as being revolutionary... but it IS. i promise. it's a radical thing.
to us it feels like a thing of the past... it doesn't seem sexy or like it allows for our swagger so we throw it out.
but i'm with Andrew... it's maybe the most important thing:
"Our chief care, our highest [good], our only happiness, now and through all eternity, is to present ourselves an empty vessel, in which God can dwell and manifest His power and goodness."

& humility is the place of ENTIRE dependence on God. it' s a great place to be. but i think we have to think of it as our 1st order of business... the most important thing we can be in our day, because it's the ROOT of everything else we can do for God's glory.

Murray says humility is "the ROOT of every virtue... and so pride, or the loss of humility, is the root of every sin and evil." + "evil can have no beginning but from pride, and no end but from humility."
WOW. those are BIG time words! he's not messing around.

i was way wrong when i picked up this dusty old book that used to sit on my grandmother's shelf. it looks so old and boring. i just thought it would be nice to read what some old guy said 100 years ago. i thought it wouldn't be all that relevant. maybe it would be a little pious. certainly not revolutionary.

but tell me that this doesn't rock your world:
"The truth is this: Pride must die in you, or nothing of [the Kingdom] can live in you."

"Could you see what every stirring of pride does to your soul, you would BEG of everything you meet to tear the viper from you, though with loss of a hand or an eye."

whoa. maybe you can get a sense of why this Andrew Murray guy is jacking me up. really wrestling hard with this humility thing. because i can see how revolutionary and ALL-ENCOMPASSING/ ALL-IMPORTANT it is.

is it really the most important thing? i guess if without it, God can truly not be ALL and get His glory... if the lack of it leads to every sin... if it is the root of every good God does through us... then yeah, it must be the most important thing.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON HUMILITY?

even more mind-blowing stuff to come. lots more.
(just trying to process)

humility (a start)

humility.

not something any of us talk about that much.

it's not really a pop culture subject. or even a "pop church" subject. i haven't seen many books written about humility lately (although i did read & write about this one HERE and HERE a couple years ago.)

in fact, God used that above book to mess me up when it comes to pride and humility. God used the words in that book to point out the pride in my life. it produced a passion in me to desperately want to get all pride out of my life. i want nothing to do with it. i just want to be a humble guy.
but that's really easier said than done. we're all more prideful than we think. it's a sneaky thing, pride.

and as i've hopefully made strides over the last few years i constantly find that the more and more humble i hopefully become the more and more pride is uncovered in my life. it's like the more prideful we are the less of our pride we can even see. As we become more and more humble we see our pride more and more.
i hope there can maybe be an end to it.

since about 2006, i've made it a life long goal of mine to chase after humility as passionately as i can.

so, when i came across this book, Humility, that used to sit on my late grandmother's shelf, i picked it up. it made the final cut for my 2011 reading list and i just cracked it open last week at the beginning of our vacation.

and it has been rocking my world since page 1.

it's written by a guy named Andrew Murray (not the tennis player). i knew he was an "old" guy. i knew he was going to be one of my "dead mentors". i think i even quoted him during a sermon i did way back in college.

But that's about all i knew about him. turns out most of his ministry was in the 1800s (& trickled into the early 1900s). he was born in South Africa and lived pretty much his whole life there. and he wrote a ton of books and influenced a ton of people and had a hand in several influential movements. and check his sweet beard.

*One of the coolest parts for me is that is was my grandmother's book. she was an awesome woman who loved Jesus as long as i knew her. that was obvious. she died when i was 12, but i spent several summers at her house, so i knew her pretty well. never as an adult or even a teenager though.

When i opened up her book to read it a really old paper fell out. it was a (typewriter) typed paper she had put together to lead a Bible study at her church on humility. it was dated January 12, 1982.
pretty crazy. pretty awesome. like a window into the past. i wasn't born yet. i wasn't even thought of yet i guess. my grandmother wasn't even a grandmother yet.

and as i read this amazing book that has changed my life... i got to see all the stuff that my grandmother underlined and highlighted. i got to see the stuff that jumped out at her and influenced her life.
it's been like reading this book together with my grandmother.

and the book is pretty radical. it's revolutionary. i didn't know people said this kind of stuff back then.

i want to write more and more about this book in the coming days, but i'll sum it up by saying this: Murray basically says that Humility is the CHIEF thing. The chief mark of a true disciple. It’s foundational to all the other virtues.

boom.

dead mentors

about 4-5 years ago i was challenged + challenged myself to read a healthy and steady diet of dead guys.
the thing i reminded myself over and over until it became a part of me was

"i need some dead mentors."

there's just too much great stuff out there written by peeps who have been dead for 50 years or 500 years to only read the stuff that's being published this year. i vowed to keep a steady influx of both the current & the long gone in my reading list.

at one point i had some kind of quota or minimum for reading dead guys, but now i've had a lot of dead mentors. i see the value in good ones and i gladly read them consistently. NEED to read them.

i've had dead mentors over the last few years like -  Augustine, Julian of Norwich, John Wesley, Bernard of Clairvaux, Thomas A' Kempis, Brother Lawrence, Jonathan Edwards, Mother Theresa, John Calvin, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, John of the Cross, Martin Luther, Evelyn Underhill, A.W. Tozer, C.S. Lewis, Lesslie Newbigin, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Thomas Merton, Karl Barth, David J. Bosch, Norman Vincent Peale, Francis Schaeffer, Dale Carnegie, Randy Pausch, Kyle Lake, etc...

this practice i instituted of having dead mentors has been a great one. it's helping to form me as a man and for that i'm forever grateful to them. (on that note, i have hopes and i pray often that in some forms i could be a dead mentor to someone else in 300 years somehow. but that's a thought to expound on for another day.)

on vacation i've been reading an amazing book. it has full on changed my life. (well, technically the proof is in the pudding as far as life change goes, so we'll see... but i feel as though it has definitely changed my life.)

it's a book i picked up off my late grandmother's shelf at some point. thankful to her that i could "borrow" her book. it has rocked my world. excited to write all about it tomorrow.

stooping down

when i think about stooping down i think about plugging something into an outlet. those things are always way down there at shin level. kind of annoying.

i feel like most of the time i'm bent over and wedged into some place i only halfway fit into and it's dark and i'm trying to plug something in. i can't quite see or reach the outlet so it takes forever and i get frustrated with it easily.

or generally i hate stooping down to plug something in because my knees are really bad and i just can't handle the stooping down part. i wouldn't mind if all outlets were like eye level or chest level.

but they're not. so i have to stoop down. and i have to stoop down for all kinds of little stuff. i have to stoop down for all kinds of stuff that's way down below me.

ever wonder what kind of stuff God stoops down for?

God is SO HIGH and so HOLY & Unique that He actually stoops down just to look on the heavens and earth!!! just to get low enough to see!

"Who is like the LORD our God? [implied answer = "NOBODY!"]
the One who sits enthroned on high,
who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth?"

nobody is like that! That's the freaking awesome God we know! He's so big, so other, so unlike anything we can compare Him too... that the heavens & the earth are like a tiny little wall outlet that He has to stoop down to even see.

wow. no wonder this same Psalm says "From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the LORD is to be praised."

for a God like this, i would say so.

be a part of this! (repost)

(This was originally posted to renown on November 11, 2009. Still just as powerful today.)

 It's no secret I'm a HUGE fan of Compassion International! Crystal and I decided long ago that the last thing we would drop from our budget would be supporting children through Compassion! We can do without pretty much everything before we can drop that!

Maybe that made this moment at Catalyst '09 more powerful for us, but I don't think so. I think you'll agree that it is so powerful to watch! I'll let the footage speak for itself...



even watching it again just now I started choking up and fighting back the tears!

It's so powerful because you can SEE the life that was changed by just a few bucks a month. Why don't you click HERE and sponsor your own child today!? Change a life!

superhero

sometimes i like to just sit and watch the world... watch life happen... and write about it as i see it. it's just a good thing for me to do sometimes.

i like to simply watch and then process what i'm seeing by writing about it.

i rarely ever put that stuff anywhere else besides my "thoughts" file. but i was cleaning op some "thoughts" recently and one of those random musings caused me to think more about becoming a parent soon. so i thought i would thought i would post it here to renown.

The following is what i wrote the week of this past Christmas (2010). i was in New York with my wife's family and i stole away to a Starbucks inside a Target for a little while. here is what i saw and wrote:

I'm watching a mom walk into Target…

in the snow.

Deep snow.

With 5 kids.

5 kids.

Tugging 4 across the street all holding hands & carrying one in a carrying car seat thing.

Until one of the littlest walking boys dropped his zip lock bag of gold fish & had to run back and get it. Then the chain was broken only for a few moments.

This mom looks really tired. 

It's really cold outside and I have been being a baby about how cold NY is in December.

i've had a revelation sitting here drinking my coffee and watching this scene. maybe one day i'll find out if this "hunch" of mine is actually true:

When you go to the store with 5 kids – you don’t have a good day.

Another mom is sitting beside me sipping her Starbucks with her 6ish year old. She just said to him in a very admirable tone – “wow. 5 kids. She must be a superhero!” 

haha - her little boy just said “she must have been like this big around (motioning with his hands) when she had all of them!” 

mom said “well, they’re not all the same age. [as if that explained it enough] She must be a superhero though.”

And superhero she is indeed.

that time thought by me also in a very admirable tone.

Then a guy with a hard core mullet and a huge bald eagle on the back of his jacket walked by. 

wow. 

couldn't get my camera open on my phone fast enough though. the sight sufficiently disrupted my thoughts about the world at this moment.

i read the whole New Testament in the shower!

(This was originally posted to renown on September 30th, 2009.)

 yeah, I read the whole New Testament of the Bible while I was in the shower! No, I don't have a waterproof Bible... well, sort of, I guess.

A few years ago I heard about The Bible Experience as it was about to be released. It caught my attention. It was going to be an "audio Bible", but not just ANY audio Bible. I had listened to those before and they should be illegal because the guy reading would put you to sleep while you were driving!

No, this was basically a Hollywood-quality MOVIE that you would listen to! (And it is produced by Hollywood producers.) It has all the sound effects, surrounding ambiance, the movie-like soundtrack, etc... Plus each actor plays his character throughout the entire "Story" of the Bible.

And the actors... let's just say they didn't do like the normal Christian movie producers do and get actors off the ABC Family Channel (worst actors in the world!) or get a big name star like Kirk Cameron :)
The best actors in the business came together to "reenact" the Bible! Big time award winners like = Denzel Washington, Cuba Gooding Jr., Forest Whitaker, Angela Bassett, Samuel L. Jackson, LL Cool J, Blair Underwood, and even my boy Kirk Franklin!

So, when the New Testament released I went out and bought it right away. It was AMAZING! I told everyone about it. The coolest thing is that it is SO REAL. It feels like your standing there on the hill listening to Jesus' sermon on the mount! It is so dramatic that you get a little scared when demons talk. In fact, riding in the car late one night listening to the gospels, Crystal made me turn it off because it got so intense!

Then last year I won the WHOLE BIBLE "Bible Experience" cds at Catalyst! That was awesome because at that time the whole thing was over $100. Plus the version they gave me also has the complete text & you can scroll/read along with it in your iPod as it is playing in your headphones! Pretty sweet. I love that it's the exact same version I read and use too - TNIV. So it's exactly the same text as what I read in the Bible.

And I am hard core about multi-tasking! I feel like I'm wasting away if I'm not always doing 2 things at once! So, the Bible Experience has been perfect for me. I can always be listening to Scripture... and not just listening... actually experiencing the Story!!!
For example, when we painted our living room 2 months ago I got to listen to the whole entire book of Isaiah in 1 day! (& Isaiah is a pretty long book!)
Driving home from ATL one time I blazed through Nehemiah, Esther, & Ezra... Awesome stories.
*And of course, as the title of this post suggests, I always listen to the Bible Experience in the shower! BUT I've never been strategic about it. I would just pop in a random cd & listen to whatever as I was waking up in the shower 1st thing in the morning.

**BUT, when we got back from vacation last month I decided to be very strategic. I just decided to go straight through the whole New Testament. I put a little Ridge sticky note on the mirror and wrote down where I left off each day. So I only listened to the Bible Experience while I was taking a shower and getting ready (brushing my teeth, etc...). I started on August 14th and finished the whole New Testament yesterday, September 29th!
So, around 1 & a half months is all it took to "read" the whole New Testament... and no extra time on my part... just while I was in the shower!
Now that's what I call a wise use of my time! The epitome of multi-tasking! I love it! And I love the intensity & "realness" of The Bible Experience.

In fact, check out a sneak peek of the experience for yourself below:


The best clip to get a feel for the whole thing is on the Bible Experience website HERE.
and if you want to see more here is a "making of the Bible Experience" video...


You can buy The Bible Experience by simply clicking HERE.

Tomorrow in the shower I am starting on the Old Testament. I wonder how long it will take me to go all the way through it? Probably a lot quicker than trying to hold a Bible and read it while in the shower!

the hyrax & the 30th

i love to read Proverbs every day. ever since freshman year of college i've read 1 chapter a day (corresponding to the day of the month). this habit has helped make an unwise guy like me a little less and less unwise through the years.

in college one of my best friends, Ethan, had the same habit so we would often talk about what we read that day. those were some great conversations. But every month when it came to the 30th one of us would ask the other - "Dude, do you know what a hyrax is?"

nope. no idea. never even heard of it. but apparently, hyraxes are one of 4 things Agur (the author) says are "small, yet extremely wise".

verse 26 tries to tell us why they're so wise and even describe them a little bit = "hyraxes are creatures of little power, yet they make their home in the crags..."

huh. life changing, eh?

but it really did bug us. for years. we asked people. looked it up. we kind of just always pictured a beaver.

but then Crystal and i went to Kenya last Fall. a place where we stayed the 1st 10 days was crawling with these little fury creatures.

there were tons of them running around everywhere and this is one of the pics i snapped of them.
i asked a guy one day - "what are these things?"
"Hyraxes" he said.

case closed. now i've seen them up close and in person.

here's the really funny part. They would always be crowded all along the little path where we would walk to go to breakfast. Usually they would scurry off out of our way when we would come walking by. but i guess they're so wise that they can sense FEAR. because my wife, Crystal, was definitely afraid of them. (in her defense, they did have these massive sharp teeth.)

one day i went out early and was coming back to our room to see what was taking Crystal so long to come to breakfast. halfway back to our room i heard Crystal shouting "Patrick! help me!"
These little hyraxes had her cornered on all sides and she just stood there frozen as they inched closer. there were like 30 of them! she was pretty much freaking out.

it was a fairly funny scene, but of course i tried not to laugh. i just jumped up there and started shouting like a crazy man and clapping really loud and they all ran away.

now every time the 30th rolls around and i read this Proverb it makes me laugh when i come to verse 26. i can see those hyraxes chasing Crystal around. haha... they are pretty wise creatures i guess.

Crystal still says they are dumb.

resting

rest.

i had no idea how much i needed rest until i started resting. didn't know how tired i actually was from this past year...

i just fell asleep on the couch today at like 11am without even meaning to. i was out cold.

earlier today i saw Rob Bell tweet something that perfectly describes my sabbaths. & vacation for me is simply a LONG yearly sabbath:

"On the Sabbath- we ask the question: what feeds our soul? And then we do that."

right on. just feeding my soul for these 2 weeks.

i love love love the part of vacation & all sabbaths where we just sleep in until we wake up. whenever that is. i hope i can train myself to sleep in until at least noon 1 of these days.

today was simply an amazing day of rest. and there are still double digit days of rest to go.

Crystal and i were chilling out in the ocean air by the pool and i had my iPod shuffling. randomly hit a song i hadn't heard in years. a flash back to high school days. i don't even know how it got on this iPod. but that song was very appropriate for this afternoon as i just sat there looking at God's amazing creation all around and resting in Him as a form of worship:

"i REST in the shelter of your love & i REST in the WONDER of YOU."

that shelter is BIG and this WONDER is endless.

i let it repeat a few times as i just rested.

vacation!

we are going on vacation!

no plans. nothing to do. just chillin at the beach with my awesome, beautiful wife.

won't be thinking about work for 12 days. just resting, relaxing, and recharging. so looking forward to it.

the beach is an amazing place for me. always fills me up with Wonder. i can just sit out there and worship. it's a place of spiritual renewal for me.

(P.S. - a big mean guy with big literal guns will be staying at our house the next 12 days.)

words are POWERFUL

i guess i've always known words are powerful - for good or for bad. to encourage or to pull down.

but over the past 2 years it's been more and more real to me.

but recently i have been blown away by some of the words spoken to me. the kind that completely catch you off guard. those unsolicited words about me spoken directly to me.
people looking me in the eyes and speaking their mind about me.

several people have spoken POWERFUL words to me recently. maybe 8 or 9 people in the past month. the kind of powerful words that can simultaneously bring me to tears and pump me up so that i can even feel the adrenaline. the kind of words that produce powerful emotion. the kind of powerful words that i'm still thinking about a week or 2 or 3 later.

those people have no idea the weight those words carry. words that let me know i'm not wasting my time. maybe i am worth something. my life matters. maybe... just maybe these crazy dreams and grand visions i have can be accomplished. words that let me know people believe in me more than i ever realized.

maybe you think great things about someone. maybe sometimes you have something powerful to say to them. but you don't.

maybe you think they are really gifted or maybe they have made a massive difference in your life. they have no way of knowing unless you tell them.

Your words are POWERFUL. Use them for good.

because i can feel the power when it's done for me... i desperately want to do the same for others.

what will our baby BE?

crazy stoked our 1st child will be here REALLY soon. in just a couple months.

one of the things i'm probably MOST excited about in the next couple months before it gets here is that Crystal and i are gonna write what we want our child to BECOME and always focus our parenting for the next 18 years on those things.
Just 5-8 simple words like "Generous" or "Revolutionary" and focus our parenting and the experiences we provide on helping our child become that type of person.

this was an awesome suggestion from a tool we give new parents at Ridge Church in an attempt to partner with them. really thankful for that.

so, here's our rough draft. it's just an initial brainstorm list. a lot of them probably bleed over into each other. really wanna narrow these to 5-8 or even less. and would like for them to all be summed up in 1 word. would LOVE any of your thoughts!

LOVE - start with knowing he/she is LOVED by me, by Crystal. then be overwhelmed with the amazing love of God. then pour out love to ALL. no matter who it is = friend, family, all ethnicities, all lifestyles, the OUTCAST, an ENEMY. live their life with the belief that LOVE WINS.

REVOLUTIONARY - radical. never satisfied with the status quo or the normal way that everyone else lives. a world changer. never worry about trying to "fit in" to an apathetic culture, but not be afraid to shake it up.

GENEROUS - i would really love our child to be a person who will GIVE, GIVE, GIVE all their lives. and if they give away too much [oxymoron]... oh well.

STORIES - i would love for our child to - from the very beginning - live a life worth telling stories about. to just GO FOR IT. go for the adventure. go have the experience. don't be timid. don't be SAFE. take RISKS. have some stories to tell.

POSITIVE - this will be a really fun challenge with the balance of power in our house with 1 eternal optimist & 1 "realist" [spelled "p-e-s-s-i-m-i-s-t"] :) haha, this will be fun. we'll see if it makes the final list. i would love our child to always believe the best... about every situation, every person, etc...

TRUST GOD - trust God no matter what. unwavering faith in a God who loves them more than they can imagine. live a life based on that radical trust.

JOY - unashamed and unbridled JOY in God. a radical pursuit of JOY in God's glory with a reckless abandon. + just a straight up enjoyment of life. it's just too short to not enjoy it. that would be silly. why do you think we're here? All about FUN all the time!

LIVE IT - authentic. just be. live. live what you believe because what you live IS what you believe. don't just talk about it, because talk is cheap. anybody can do that. live it.

THANKFUL - it's a destructive thing to not be thankful even for 1 minute. this child will have so much to be thankful for from its 1st minute on earth on... it will never catch up. it can spend a lifetime being thankful and never be thankful enough.

DREAMER - Dream BIG. not small. big vision. big goals. have a freedom to dream big and not listen to "naysayers".

RESPECTFUL - to us as parents starting out... to everyone though really.

UNIQUE - you be you. be who you are. whoever that is. i don't care. be the way God made you. Find your IDENTITY only ever and always in who God says you are in HIM.

WELCOMING - of all people all the time.

HUMBLE - this is a biggie and a toughie. i would love to help my child eradicate pride from its life. maybe it can help me. i want them to be Open Minded and never so arrogant that they think they have it figured out. i hope they never one time in life think they are "better than" anyone.

CORAGEOUS - do the right thing even if no one else is. don't back down on what you believe in. Risk! don't be afraid to FAIL. it's ok, just try it again.

SELFLESS - it's a great big world out there. lots of countries. lots of people. lots of needs. you are just one person. life is obviously NOT about you. how could we ever think that for even 1 second?

WISE - if they could somehow learn to make wise choices early on... wow.

PASSIONATE - i can't figure out another reason to wake up in the morning unless i'm passionate about something. i guess i really don't care what they end up being into - what the pursue, what activities they're involved in, what career they choose, etc.... just do whatever it is with PASSION!

RENOWN SPREADER - grow up to be a supporting cast member to the 1 renown that matters. have a desperate desire to be used by God. whatever that might look like for him/her individually.

BLESSING - we are BLESSED to be a blessing! we are so blessed & it is for no other reason than the grace of God that we are not a family living under a bridge with no food. only grace and the fact that we are blessed. so, if the reason we've been blessed so much is clearly to BE a blessing to others... why would we ever go through a day without being a BLESSING?


well, it's just a start, but we obviously have some trimming of the list to do.

my Dad did that

do you remember growing up how you were really proud of stuff your dad did and you let everyone know it?

for me, i can remember being really proud of the fact that my dad started his own car dealership. And every time i would be with someone and we would pass Wilgrove Auto Mart on Albemarle road i would say something like "my dad did that." or "my dad started that/runs that/ owns that." Then when it moved out to Independence Blvd/HWY 74 i would pass it all the time with people and still say "my dad did that. that's my dad's place." i remember the proud feeling.

...on a seemingly unrelated note...

i really hate it that the days are getting shorter.=
for me it really stinks to wake up and it still be dark outside. the summer was awesome because at least there would be some light outside when i woke up.

but i guess i can look on the "bright side" - at least i get to see the sun come up every single morning. and that daily sun rise the past few weeks is pretty amazing.

it's better than any art you've ever seen or more beautiful than anything you've imagined.

and i just stop and smile and think  
"my Dad did that."

Nyaga is TOP of his class!

Nyaga is our child in Kenya that we have sponsored for over 4 years now through Compassion International. He was 5 years old when we sponsored him and he just turned 10 a little over 1 week ago! He is the man. Some of you may know him as Peter (Nyaga Baithumbi) and i've written about him a lot - HERE, Here, HERE, and HERE are a few...

Crystal and i had the awesome privilege of visiting Nyaga last Fall and hanging out at his house and in his village with his family (no parents). We had A LOT of fun together.

We always receive his report card after every year of school. He actually had to repeat 1st grade and then he's always done just OK since then. i can imagine it's extremely hard without even a parent to help you out with anything. He does have an older brother that he lives with, but he has his own wife and is taking care of 5 other children.

In our letters to Nyaga we always encourage him to work hard in school and to simply do his best. Last year he finished the best in his class he ever had -->

Term 1 = 14 out of 21 students

Term 2 = 8 out of 21 students

Term 3 = 10 out of 21 students

Crystal and i were talking to the Compassion staff when we were in Nyaga's village. we have always said that we want to sponsor Nyaga all the way through the University program, so we were asking how a student is selected for it?

Obviously there are several factors like work ethic, etc... but the student MUST be at least in the top 6 or 7 in his class to even be accepted into a University in Kenya!

We talked about Nyaga's grades and the staff lady mentioned that he is working hard and improving so much. that semester that he finished 8th in his class was a great step and puts him really near the cut off.

That day Nyaga and Crystal and i talked about school a lot. We encouraged him over and over to study really hard every day, to go to the tutoring that Compassion provides on Saturdays, and to keep improving in school... because it matters for your future.

i asked Nyaga what he wanted to be when he grew up and he replied - "President of Kenya... because i want to help Kenyans."

wow. lump in my throat. talk about HOPE. and having a dream from the bottom of poverty.

We told him to go for it. to work as hard as he can to walk toward that goal. getting better and better in school was a great way to move toward that goal... or at least the goal of having more influence to help people.

we just received Nyaga's report card from this year of school that just finished... HE IS #1 IN HIS CLASS!

Term 1 = 1st out of 40

Term 2 = 2nd out of 40

Term 3 = 1st out of 40

THAT is what i'm talking about!

we wrote him a letter write away (+ a birthday card and a birthday gift) and told him we know how hard he must have worked and how proud we were of that!

i know he's not my own kid but i can't even tell you how proud this makes me feel. i really can't help but tear up every time i think about it. unbridled joy wells up in my heart.

i definitely am not taking any credit but i can't help but think that the visit and encouragement Crystal and i gave mattered. because that's a big jump - from middle of the class to top of the class.

at the end of his letter we just received, he wrote "When can you come visit my home again?" Soon, i hope... Soon.

i hope 1 day we can go visit and help him move into his University.

and then the last words of his letter are "I will always pray for you."

c'mon Nyaga, can't i make it through 1 letter without crying?