the last 2 days have also been hard. tough. exhausting. rough. probably the roughest on us physically. i don't think i've ever seen anything like what i've seen the past 2 days. and i've seen a lot. i think Erick and Peter's village makes Karima look like Beverly Hills.
i have so many emotions, but i'm honestly just too overwhelmed to write about these experiences. i know many of you would love to hear about these visits - especially everyone who has had a part in supporting and praying for Erick. and i promise i'll write about them soon. i think i just need some time.
i honestly keep having a thought creep into my head = "am i even making a difference?" with everything that i could ever do - does it even matter with this HUGE task we have ahead of us to help the least of these? is what i can do even a drop in the bucket?
i remind myself of the post i wrote HERE. i hope Crystal and i making a small difference for the renown of Jesus, for His Kingdom, and in some precious lives that we love so much.
but sometimes i feel like Reese Roper when he wrote these words back in the day... it used to be one of my fav songs long ago:
"I put my face down in my hands, water wells inside my eyes,
What do I have to give them? does it matter if I try?
I can't stand to see you suffer; I try to intellectualize
A formula to end your pain;
it doesn't work. God knows I've tried.
What does it matter any way?
13 cents or all i own?
how can i ever save the world on cup-o-soup and student loans?
and i... wanna try and save the world!
but it never goes that way
God, i don't know what to do..."
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2 comments:
It's no individual's job to save the world. But it is our job to be one of the many who come together to act rather than merely be observers. It is our job to seek with intensity to join God where he is already at work and to be his physical presence carrying out His will. And as disappointing as it might be, we may never how our actions might impact the world. God promised Abraham he would be a mighty nation. Abraham continued to act based on the faith he had, but he didn't see the final result. Keep acting on your faith. God will do the rest.
thx so much for the comment man. you are so right. & i of course know that's the truth.
sometimes what we "know" & our experience don't line up. it just feels overwhelming to think that u could give ur lives to a community, but the average person might not see the difference.
i've got big faith tho that God is using us. i just like to be vulnerable and transparent sometimes - that's 1 reason why i started my blog... to be able to vent my true feelings.
ur right, we may never know how God used us. thx for the encouragement & being a great friend!
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