the last 2 days have also been hard. tough. exhausting. rough. probably the roughest on us physically. i don't think i've ever seen anything like what i've seen the past 2 days. and i've seen a lot. i think Erick and Peter's village makes Karima look like Beverly Hills.
i have so many emotions, but i'm honestly just too overwhelmed to write about these experiences. i know many of you would love to hear about these visits - especially everyone who has had a part in supporting and praying for Erick. and i promise i'll write about them soon. i think i just need some time.
i honestly keep having a thought creep into my head = "am i even making a difference?" with everything that i could ever do - does it even matter with this HUGE task we have ahead of us to help the least of these? is what i can do even a drop in the bucket?
i remind myself of the post i wrote HERE. i hope Crystal and i making a small difference for the renown of Jesus, for His Kingdom, and in some precious lives that we love so much.
but sometimes i feel like Reese Roper when he wrote these words back in the day... it used to be one of my fav songs long ago:
"I put my face down in my hands, water wells inside my eyes,
What do I have to give them? does it matter if I try?
I can't stand to see you suffer; I try to intellectualize
A formula to end your pain;
it doesn't work. God knows I've tried.
What does it matter any way?
13 cents or all i own?
how can i ever save the world on cup-o-soup and student loans?
and i... wanna try and save the world!
but it never goes that way
God, i don't know what to do..."