Saturday, July 4, 2009

HILARIOUS (yet REAL) motions!

I figured we would all need a good laugh on this Saturday, July 4th. You may not think these are funny but I think the WHOLE IDEA of this is HILARIOUS! I laughed out loud!

I stole these from my friend Ryan's blog. I hope he doesn't mind. He posted these about a week ago HERE.
These are REAL motions from the Southern Baptist Convention Conference that I guess was held recently. I promise these aren't made up! Reading this makes me SO THANKFUL that I have nothing to do with the denomination. Satan's probably crazy happy that these motions stole air time away from the denomination being focused on spreading God's fame to the nations!

OK, here we go... [my thoughts are in these brackets]
A couple motions regarding Mark Driscoll [& btw, no links to Driscoll's blog or Mars Hill yet because their server crashed this week & all the websites are down! That's gotta be a nightmare for them! I saw it in Driscoll's Twitter]
-- that "all SBC entities should monitor" funds spent in "activities related to or cooperative efforts with Mark Driscoll and/or the Acts 29 organization" and entity heads should submit a report of expenditures to appear in the 2010 Book of Reports

[*That's VERY interesting because watching the SBC from a distance, all the pastors & seminary students who are part of the SBC and under 30 are firmly in Driscoll's Acts 29 camp 1st & foremost over the SBC! If the SBC makes them choose, I think it's OBVIOUS what their choice will be & this would probably kill the SBC's last hope to become relevant by chasing off their next generation leaders!]

-- that SBC entities avoid "inviting event speakers" who "are known for publicly exhibiting unregenerate behavior ... such as cursing and sexual vulgarity, immorality, or who publicly state their support for the consumption or production of alcohol

[I can't remember where in the Bible I saw the list of "unregenerate behavior" that included "support for cosumpion/production of alcohol" & "cursing". & the cursing & sexual vulgarity they are referring to in regards to Driscoll is LAUGHABLE if you knew exactly what they were referring to.]

-- that author Mark Driscoll's books be removed from LifeWay Christian Bookstores because of his "reputation for abusive and ungodly language and ... promotions of sex toys on his church web site

[WOW. This would be CRAZY for them as he is writing like 6-10 books per year now and I'm sure they are probably selling like HOTCAKES among 20 & 30something southern baptists! They would lose a TON of money simply because they don't like the way the guy talks. & the sex toys on his blog were like promoting a Christian sex toy company! HAHA, pretty G rated!]

A Classic Boycott Motion - remember the Disney Boycott?:
-- that Southern Baptists call "on the Pepsi-Cola Company to remain neutral in the cultural war by refraining from promoting the gay/lesbian lifestyle and agenda" through its advertising and that a boycott be undertaken if the company fails to "halt its current direction
[OK, please don't stop drinking Pepsi, because I've got stock in Pepsi! haha. If you want to boycott something I am SURE there are tons of WORSE organizations you can choose to boycott.]

Here's one about the Christian Flag:
-- that the SBC adopt the "United States Christian Flag ... as our banner flag of encouragement
[freaks me out a little bit. seems like it leads to Dominion Theology.]

One on secular music:
-- that SBC entities avoid "the use of secular music in their promotional materials
[is there any such thing as "secular music"? I don't think so...]

*The ones on Driscoll were defnitely my FAV! I can't WAIT to hear what he has to say... it will be so sarcastic and funny.
**OH, & BTW, when I was at my overprotective & controlling college (even more so than the SBC) and they told me about an author or a certain book I should stay away from... I IMMEDIATELY WENT AND GOT IT FROM THE LIBRARY! I'm guessing that the SBC is going to have this effect on lots of young southern baptists. I'm just sayin'...

Do you have any thoughts or commentary you want to add?

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